Last thoughts
Bruno would like to thank the following: AAA; Cingular; Blogger, for the mobile blogging thing; Troy's grandpa, for sponsoring food and drinks in Minneapolis; Troy's (other) grandma, for giving us a place to sleep in Southern Minnesota; JT's radar detector, for saving us money in speeding tickets; The White Stripes and the Royal Orchid ("Best Thai Food in Town"); the Holiday Inn Express breakfast; Guster, for recording great driving music; Honorary Dibs Not Driver #4, for being our guide around Chicago, giving us a place to crash on our first night in town, being our key to free Bud Lights at the irish pub that night, laughing at Troy's jokes, trying to set up JT a week earlier,
etc etc etc; and last but not least, the boys, for not letting me kill you and for not killing me either.
JT would like to thank the following: All the people mentioned above. Troy for his excellent backseat driving abilities and for stopping me from filling the car up with diesel. Yes, I do have a Mechanical Engineering degree, and no, I don’t deserve it. Bruno for his city driving “skills” and for giving us a courtesy window roll down (it’s sorta like a courtesy flush). I’d like to thank myself for being “really really really good looking.” I’d like to say “you’re welcome” to all the ladies in Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, and the Twin Cities. I know I couldn’t stay long, but it was good while it lasted. I’ll call, I swear. I’d like to thank Emily for answering a very important question late Saturday night as the boys were driving somewhere in Minnesota.
All the way back home.
And it's over. Back to JT's place, where it all began. Total miles: 2,265 (and JT, who had guessed 2,350, wins the Guess Our Total Mileage contest).
Kansas City, Missouri.
And we made it. On the best-looking day of the trip (hell, of the year), at our hometown Kauffman Stadium we're now done. Five days, five baseball games, still the same three guys.
Missing posts
B: It has come to our attention (thanks, Em) that some of our posts (the Chicago game, for example) have not published. Thankfully they're still on my phone, so I'll post them and give them the right date when I get home tonight, so you all don't miss anything. In other news, we just entered KC city limits. It's good to be home - but we still have another stadium to visit.
We cross into Missouri
...and the road instantly turns shitty.
A moment of silence
...for the half-inch-thick layer of dead bugs that now covers our car's front bumper.
On to Kansas City.
Left Minnesota early this morning for one last drive.That's Troy back there. We don't know what he's doing. We don't want to know.
T: You jackass, I was watching Arrested Development on my laptop. The glare from outside made it too hard to see, so I found a good (albeit too hot) solution.
Minneapolis, Minnesota.
It's ironic that the first time we had warm and sunny weather in this trip is exactly the game that's played indoors. Four down, one to go.
Tomorrow's news, today.
BALDWIN, WI. - Three men in their twenties died yesterday afternoon on I-94. Police are investigating whether air guitarring may have caused the deadly crash.
Goodbye Chicago.
Sooner or later we'd have to leave. On to Minneapolis.
Chicago, Illinois.
Writing this from a chilly US Cellular Field, a stadium where you can choose from a larger variety of beers than your average bar. Oh yeah, and wine too. I just don't think wine and baseball mix, but oh well; three games down, one to go.
Lou Malnatii's
Chicago Deep Dish pizza. JT likes it.
City of hook-ups.
We've been getting the best hook-ups here. Crashed at a friend's place last night, then got free beers all night long at McGees (where we got down to Too White Crew - toowhitecrew.com). And today we're staying at a hotel that JT scored for us - for free too. Add to that the fact that we still have not killed each other and you can say we're doing pretty well.
Chi-town.
B: Started blogging a little late today. Late night last night, once we made it to Chicago. More to come.
Michigan City, Indiana.
B: US geography can be very confusing sometimes. Washington, DC is not in Washington state, Kansas City is not in Kansas, and Michigan City, well, here it is.
Climax, Michigan.
B: Here's a town I wouldn't like to live in. Here's another: Detroit. We decided not to spend the night there tonight and possibly get to Chicago the day before the game there. That way we're not mixing highway driving with our hangovers tomorrow morning.
Correction
It turns out there were beers for $5 - still overpriced, yes, but better than 8 bucks for a tall can of Bud Light. Oh yeah, and the home team won - just like yesterday. Plus it didnt rain a drop. Not bad. Back to the road now.
Detroit, Michigan.
Another nice stadium downtown. But a beer costs $8. Anyway - two down, three to go.
1,000 miles.
Just hit the thousand mile marker as we drive by Southeastern Michigan. Right now we have four people (the 3 of us + Emily) playing in our Guess Our Total Mileage contest (we're still deciding on a prize). Leave your guess in the comments and you're entered.
Back on the road.
Last night the rain came (causing the game to be delayed) and went. But by the time it went we had already left to check out the bars around the downtown stadiums. About the bars, two words: sausage fest (though I'm sure the Germans spell it in one word). This morning we're trying to leave Ohio and get to Detroit, where we hope it's drier.
Cleveland, Ohio
We made it. The rain has stayed away, and the beer is cold. Not bad. Plus, Jacobs Field is beautiful. One stadium down, four to go.
Plain City, Ohio
B: I always thought that the problem with the Midwest is its lack of self-esteem. As evidenced by how people name their towns in Ohio. I'm guessing them Plain Citians may have problems showing off their home town.
Stuck.
AAA didn't warn us of major construction on I-70 in Indianapolis. We're cutting it close now.
Visiting Brazil, Indiana
Bruno feeling at home. Check.
Spitting on the Mississippi
Troy and the river. Check.
Doing great time.
On the outskirts of St Louis right now. Feeling only slightly bad for all the suckers on the way to work.
Flipping off Columbia
JT and Faurot Field. Check.
And we're off!
Yes. And it's friggin' dark.
Planning the departure
Seems like we have plans for tomorrow morning. The following is an email exchange this afternoon (it's also evidence of how we'll kill each other before we make it to Cleveland):
J: [to Bruno:] I thought you didn't want to plan anything out. You freaked out every time I mentioned a plan about the time change in Cleveland. So I'm not surprised that you don't remember. If we leave by 4am CST, we can get there by 4pm CST or 5pm EST. The game is at 7pm EST. This gives us time to check into the hotel and a little lag time in traveling.
T: Wow, so we're leaving at 4AM? I can drive the morning shift, as long as you guys don't mind if I fall asleep and kill us all.
J: That's hilarious... You usually get up that early, so I think you will be taking the morning shift.
T: I warn you now, if you make me drive the morning shift, there's no way I'm going to let you two sleep during that time.
B: Not to worry. JT will keep you company.
T: I guarantee you, I will not let you sleep, Pieroni. Zero chance. Every time you close your eyes, I'm going to punch you in the face.
B: Dude, if I'm driving and I close my eyes, I hope that's exactly what you do.
T: No, no, you don't understand. I'm talking about when you're not driving and you're trying to sleep.
B: I get it. Then no, in that case you can't.
T: See, I'm not asking for your permission. I'm telling you that's what is going to happen if you try to sleep tomorrow morning.
B: Oh, I see. Still, no.
T: No what? You do realize that the person trying to keep the other person from sleeping has a serious advantage over the person trying to sleep, right?
B: Yes. Punch JT, then. He'll be riding shotgun and you won't have to reach all the way into the backseat to do it.
Kansas City
B: Just testing. If this works, then we'll be posting pictures from the road.
[UPDATE: That picture was taken and that text was written and sent using my cell phone. Sweet...]
Cleveland (part III)
B: That first leg is going to be a bitch. Dibs not drive it.
As we changed the oil on the car this Sunday (well, as JT changed the oil, I played the road trip theme song on guitar, and Troy ruined his driveway), we agreed to a couple of things...
Here's the
to-do list for that 13-hour drive:
- Flip off Columbia, MO;
- Spit on the Mississipi;
- Stop by Brazil, IN (and possibly Africa, OH -- they're both on the way).
Here's the
not-to-do list for that same drive:
- Get a speeding ticket;
- Hit a deer;
- Leave Troy by the side of the road.
We'll be blogging as to whether or not we get to do -- or not do -- all those.
T: "That first leg is going to be a bitch. Dibs not drive it." - You can't "dibs not drive" an entire leg of the trip. Sorry.
"Troy ruined his driveway" - I thought we had established that JT was responsible for this, at least that's what my parents think.
"13-hour drive" - Isn't it a 12 hour drive, but with the time change it makes 13 hours total???
sweet!
B: I'm writing this from my cell phone. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Spicy omelets
JT: What do ya'll think about doing a competition? The person closest to the actual miles driven for the entire trip will win a souvenir that we pick up along the way. Blog readers (if there are any) can participate too.
B: I like it, Bob Barker. I don't think there's anyone else reading, but we should do it. Guesses go on a sealed envelope, though. Because I could see Troy, driving the very last leg of the trip and noticing he's not going to win, missing the exit and driving around for an extra thirty miles.
T: Depends on what the prize is. I wouldn't go driving 30 miles out of my way to win a Coco Crisp bobble head doll.
The Faithless
JT: A recent conversation with my Bro-in-Law.
Bro: I need to give you my work schedule for next week.
Me: Oh, okay, why?
Bro: Well, I heard you were taking a Chevy Malibu for your trip.
Me: Yeah.
Bro: I'll see you in Iowa.
I don't want to steal Bruno's thunder, or idea (whatever), but I wanted to remind him to ask a certain person to update the blog during our trip.
T: I knew we shouldn't have decided to take Malibu Barbie's Dream Car. At least Bruno's got AAA.
B: Hey bitches, it wasn't my idea. If it was up to me, we'd be taking JT's SUV. But I'll gladly take your gas money. Plus, you have to admit that it's a better option than Troy's Ford Tempo.
And I will ask before we leave. I just want to try to figure out how to post from my cell phone. That'd be kickass. If that doesn't work, though, I'll recruit the person I mentioned last weekend.
Turn Up the Radio
T: As promised, here's the video...
B: Always glad to make a fool of myself on camera. Plus, why is it that I was opening the hood of the car to install a car stereo?
JT: You put the radio in the dash you nut and use'em both together. Speaking of, did Pepsi completely rip that idea off or what? Even down to the accents.
Music
B: So the DibsNotDrive-Mobile now has a cd player (thanks, JT), and I think we can now establish the ground rules for music during the trip:
- Whoever is driving at any particular point chooses what to listen to.
- Vetoing a song is allowed, but only if both of the two other guys agree to veto it.
- Vetoing a song doesn't allow the other two to choose the next song; it only stops that current one.
Volume is still a discussion to be had.
I'm bringing two or three cds I'm burning this week -- with songs about roads and/or driving. They will include everything from Bruce to Eddie From Ohio and from The Tragically Hip to Modest Mouse. Additionally, they will rock this bitch like this bitch's never been rocked before.
JT: What Troy didn't realize when he voted for these rules is that Bruno and I had a secret alliance. We're going to veto every song that Troy picks.
It took 6 hours, one trip to Best Buy, and two trips to Wal-Mart to install that cd player. Best Buy is a rip off, plus they didn't have a clue. Never buy car radio installation kits there, go to Wal-Mart. Troy filmed the installation process, so he might up a video.
T: Can vetoing of an entire artist or album be allowed, or must each song be vetoed separately?
And are we allowed some ESPN AM talk radio as well, because I don't know if I want to listen to music nonstop for 83 hours in the car.
The Countdown Begins
JT: So I have all the tickets, except for the Royals. (Yes Ticket Master did send me the deleted tickets)
Two Issues:
How many tickets do we want to get for the Royals game? The more I think about it, the more I just want it to be the three of us ending the journey ("...and I'm forever yours...faithfully") together. It’s an unsaid rule that no girl’s are allowed to go to the games with us, and I think this applies to the Kansas City game too. This is not because I don’t like girls because I do, but this trip signifies something bigger than girls. It signifies an obsession with America’s game, ballparks, stupidity-driven young adults making one last run at being completely irresponsible, senseless purpose, irrational goals, and mostly friendship.
We need to start ramping everything up. Hammer out a driving plan, make signs, contact media (Bruno), and plan extracurricular activities in each city. We only have 13.5 days until the trip.
B: Yeah. As far as I'm concerned, yes, three tix. We can meet up with whoever else wants to celebrate the fact that we didn't kill ourselves later.
Now, I didn't know this trip signified so much. I just wanted it to be something casual. Wait. Flashback. Ok. And as for "one last run at being completely irresponsible"... I hope it's not the last run. After all, I still have two bottles of tequila I brought from Mexico that should last us at least a few last runs at being completely irresponsible. Or at senseless purpose. Whichever one.
Also, can we please quit with the Journey references? It kills me enough that Troy has to belt out "Hotblooded" every time someone mentions the word "foreigner."
T: "
Check it and see... I gotta fever of a hundred and three... come on baby, can you do more than dance? I'm hot blooded, hot blooded."
And actually, I do a damn good version of "Cold As Ice" and "Jukebox Hero" as well.
B: You should have done one on Friday night.
